Day 5...6...7.. and 8
I haven't posted in a while, and honestly its because of my disillusion with this program. I thought it would be this inclusive community where I'd feel the pressure and accountability to workout everyday. But my training time has no other 6 week challengers in it, my posts go unanswered, comments unreplied to, and the messages I keep sending MC about how this diet doesn't seem to fit vegetarians have been unanswered for the last week.
Day 5: Last Friday I woke up with severe anxiety. I felt light headed, my heart was beating far too fast, and I felt insanely nauseous. I was on the verge of tears, hugging Michiel and telling him I was so afraid to go workout because I knew I would have a panic attack and pass out. We both decided it would be best for me to at least try and stop when I need to so I went. Forty minutes into the workout, sure enough, I had a panic attack and felt myself blacking out. I pushed through the last 15 minutes, skimping out on a bunch of reps for different workouts, and then told my instructor (when he said that I had more to do after I'd finished) about my anxiety and that I really had to leave. He was super understanding and told me about his anxieties and that we'll work on it together.
When I got back home I messaged MC letting him know how I was feeling and that I was afraid this diet, as a vegetarian, meant I was missing out on a lot of nutrients I really needed. All day I felt like I was going to pass out and/or vomit and could barely stomach any food. That continued for the rest of the day until Michiel forced me to eat an omelette and I felt a little better. Good enough to go see It in theaters with him, and have a couple whiskies.
~
Meals:
Day 6: I woke up feeling miserable again. I was shaky and nauseous and felt like napping all day. I had messaged MC again making suggestions about what I might potentially add back into my diet instead of sticking strictly with the one he prescribed. But yet again, no response, although he'd been posting on Facebook all day.
My mom and I went shopping and at that point I was ready to say fuck it to this diet. I picked up items that had less than 5g of carbs, and less than 3g of sugars. So, not strictly abiding by the diet but at least trying. I got protein powder and lots of MorningStar products. I got yogurt and cottage cheese.
Once home I ate it all and felt a hundred times better. Since I wasn't getting any help within the group I made an appointment with my doctor to discuss healthier ways to lose weight. The nausea came back later in the night but less intense than before.
~
Meals:
Day 7: I had the biggest craving for a scramble so, for the first time in forever I made breakfast! Eggs, avocado, onion, peppers, and salsa on top. On the side I had 2 MorningsStar sausages. I had a cold brew with protein powder in it and it was the first time I felt okay in quite a few days. It was a late breakfast so I pretty much skipped lunch after that.
In the evening Michile, my mom, and I went and picked up Nour and went to the No Bones Beach Club, a vegan restaurant in Ballard. We thought it would be easy to stick to the diet there but ended up all falling a little bit off. I had a Bahn Mi sandwich in the form of a salad. I forgot that I could have asked for sauce on the side until way later, so the amount of sugars in the sauce on the salad was by far over even the 3 grams I started allowing myself. On top of that I had a vodka mojito without simple syrup. But lime isn't allowed because of the sugars. And by "a" vodka mojito, I mean 2.
My mom really didn't stick to the diet, and Michiel had cauliflower wings with a sriracha sauce that also had sugars but we all were a bit like "fuck it." We went to a bourbon bar and had whisky and bourbon, then to a bar and grill where Michiel got a slab o' meat (as my mom put it) and we all had vodka sodas with lemon.
Afterwards we went to Nours, and my mother smoked hookah with us!!!! That was so much fun. We had a handful of almonds as a snack and got back at midnight.
~
Meals:
Day 8: I'm supposed to be responding to these daily challenges on the Facebook page but I'm feeling such a lack of community there... or, that there's a community but I'm not really a part of it. The questions are posted by MC every day, so all I can think is that he's had time to post these questions but not enough time to respond to my messages. The questions are along the lines of sharing things about yourself that you wouldn't normally. But since I no longer feel like I belong in this community I feel bizarre just putting my information out there where no one really cares.
I woke up late this morning with a headache so I decided to skip the 10:30 workout, and thought maybe, trying the 7:30 workout I might find more of a community there. But I also run the risk of showing up late to the party and feeling like I'm not a part of it still. Only way to find out, I guess, just show up.
EDIT: 9:30pm
I showed up. And it went fantastically. There was such a community environment that I've been lacking this whole time. I might still workout with Francis Wednesday and Friday- partially because there's a one-on-one aspect that I didn't get tonight, and I prefer mornings, and the other group is Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. But damn, if I can get that same community once a week? That was phenomenal.
~
Meals:
Breakfast: 2 eggs, 2 Morningstar patties
Lunch: leftover Bahn Mi salad
Snacks: 2 more patties... and a piece of string cheese
Dinner: Protein shake and an omelette with 2 sausages
(a little egg and sausage heavy today...)
Day 5: Last Friday I woke up with severe anxiety. I felt light headed, my heart was beating far too fast, and I felt insanely nauseous. I was on the verge of tears, hugging Michiel and telling him I was so afraid to go workout because I knew I would have a panic attack and pass out. We both decided it would be best for me to at least try and stop when I need to so I went. Forty minutes into the workout, sure enough, I had a panic attack and felt myself blacking out. I pushed through the last 15 minutes, skimping out on a bunch of reps for different workouts, and then told my instructor (when he said that I had more to do after I'd finished) about my anxiety and that I really had to leave. He was super understanding and told me about his anxieties and that we'll work on it together.
When I got back home I messaged MC letting him know how I was feeling and that I was afraid this diet, as a vegetarian, meant I was missing out on a lot of nutrients I really needed. All day I felt like I was going to pass out and/or vomit and could barely stomach any food. That continued for the rest of the day until Michiel forced me to eat an omelette and I felt a little better. Good enough to go see It in theaters with him, and have a couple whiskies.
~
Meals:
Breakfast: 2 eggs, half an avocado, and coffee
Lunch: caprese salad
Snack: 2 pieces of string cheese
Dinner: spinach, mushroom omelette
Drinks: 3 oz. whiskey
Dinner: spinach, mushroom omelette
Drinks: 3 oz. whiskey
Day 6: I woke up feeling miserable again. I was shaky and nauseous and felt like napping all day. I had messaged MC again making suggestions about what I might potentially add back into my diet instead of sticking strictly with the one he prescribed. But yet again, no response, although he'd been posting on Facebook all day.
My mom and I went shopping and at that point I was ready to say fuck it to this diet. I picked up items that had less than 5g of carbs, and less than 3g of sugars. So, not strictly abiding by the diet but at least trying. I got protein powder and lots of MorningStar products. I got yogurt and cottage cheese.
Once home I ate it all and felt a hundred times better. Since I wasn't getting any help within the group I made an appointment with my doctor to discuss healthier ways to lose weight. The nausea came back later in the night but less intense than before.
~
Meals:
Breakfast: 1 egg, 1 cup Greek yogurt, a handfull of almonds and cinnamon. Cold brew coffee with a splash of heavy cream
Lunch: 2 Morningstar sausage patties, 1 piece string cheese, and a protein shake w almond milk
Dinner: 1 cup zoodles bolognese made w Morningstar minced "meat"
Day 7: I had the biggest craving for a scramble so, for the first time in forever I made breakfast! Eggs, avocado, onion, peppers, and salsa on top. On the side I had 2 MorningsStar sausages. I had a cold brew with protein powder in it and it was the first time I felt okay in quite a few days. It was a late breakfast so I pretty much skipped lunch after that.
In the evening Michile, my mom, and I went and picked up Nour and went to the No Bones Beach Club, a vegan restaurant in Ballard. We thought it would be easy to stick to the diet there but ended up all falling a little bit off. I had a Bahn Mi sandwich in the form of a salad. I forgot that I could have asked for sauce on the side until way later, so the amount of sugars in the sauce on the salad was by far over even the 3 grams I started allowing myself. On top of that I had a vodka mojito without simple syrup. But lime isn't allowed because of the sugars. And by "a" vodka mojito, I mean 2.
My mom really didn't stick to the diet, and Michiel had cauliflower wings with a sriracha sauce that also had sugars but we all were a bit like "fuck it." We went to a bourbon bar and had whisky and bourbon, then to a bar and grill where Michiel got a slab o' meat (as my mom put it) and we all had vodka sodas with lemon.
Afterwards we went to Nours, and my mother smoked hookah with us!!!! That was so much fun. We had a handful of almonds as a snack and got back at midnight.
~
Meals:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs w onion, bell peppers, and avocado and salsa on top w two Morningstar sausages.
Lunch: 2 pieces of string cheese
Dinner: Bahn Mi salad
Drinks: 2 simple syrup free vodka mojitos, 1 Laphroaig whisky, 1 vodka soda.
Day 8: I'm supposed to be responding to these daily challenges on the Facebook page but I'm feeling such a lack of community there... or, that there's a community but I'm not really a part of it. The questions are posted by MC every day, so all I can think is that he's had time to post these questions but not enough time to respond to my messages. The questions are along the lines of sharing things about yourself that you wouldn't normally. But since I no longer feel like I belong in this community I feel bizarre just putting my information out there where no one really cares.
I woke up late this morning with a headache so I decided to skip the 10:30 workout, and thought maybe, trying the 7:30 workout I might find more of a community there. But I also run the risk of showing up late to the party and feeling like I'm not a part of it still. Only way to find out, I guess, just show up.
EDIT: 9:30pm
I showed up. And it went fantastically. There was such a community environment that I've been lacking this whole time. I might still workout with Francis Wednesday and Friday- partially because there's a one-on-one aspect that I didn't get tonight, and I prefer mornings, and the other group is Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. But damn, if I can get that same community once a week? That was phenomenal.
~
Meals:
Breakfast: 2 eggs, 2 Morningstar patties
Lunch: leftover Bahn Mi salad
Snacks: 2 more patties... and a piece of string cheese
Dinner: Protein shake and an omelette with 2 sausages
(a little egg and sausage heavy today...)
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